How to Have the Best First Kiss

How to Nail Your First Kiss!

Want to press your lips against someone you fancy? Need some tips? I am here to help you navigate this mouthy union! Here are some guidelines I’ve derived from a lot of experience.

First things first; establish your intentions. How did you find yourself on the brink of a first kiss? Where do you want this kiss to lead? Are you hoping for a casual sexual encounter? Or are you on a date looking for a relationship? Kissing is a very intimate act; understanding why you want to kiss the person in front of you will help you set the tone of this first kiss!

Preparing For Your First Kiss

Timing is key

Is this the right moment? Are you both flirting? Have you had a great conversation? Is she smiling? Any cheeky touches? Knees brushing together? Chairs moving closer? Do you feel a tension between you that needs exploring?

If you aren’t sure, wait. We live in an accelerated culture of dating and hookups. There is a lot of talk about the build up to sex, yet the build up to a kiss is underrated. If I am on a date with the intention of getting to know someone, I may give him a hug to say goodbye and save our first kiss for another date! It can be hard to pace ourselves when modern dating can give the illusion that everyone should be licking each other's genitals by date number two. Honor your own pace and ignore societal pressures.

Asking is sexy too

So you are ready to smooch this lovely human in front of you but you are not sure if the feelings are mutual, why not just ask! I can find it incredibly sweet and sexy when a man asks me if he can kiss me. This way you have a guarantee that your date or hookup is definitely up for it. Consent is sexy. Asking isn’t lame. I’m not saying you must ask. Just know that asking is always a viable option.

Dealing with nerves

If you are nervous remember: you are not in a Hollywood movie; first kisses can be awkward. Maybe your noses bump, maybe she giggles nervously, or maybe it really is like a scene from a movie! Let go of the preconceived idea of what a first kiss should look like. Breath, relax your mouth, soften your lips and lean in to kiss. It can be hot when a man confidently pulls me into his arms, but I also enjoy a more tentative approach. Don’t be surprised if she makes the first move, gone are the days that it’s up to the man to instigate all the firsts!

The Basics of Kissing

Pacing your First Kiss

Start slow. Start with a few kisses using only your lips, savoring the sensation of your lips touching for the first time, the texture of her mouth, the softness! Don’t just shove your tongue down her throat, tease a little. Open your mouth and invite her tongue into yours. Start pushing

your tongue lightly into her mouth, some kissers love lots of tongue others less. Let your hands organically stroke or hold her face, her neck, her hair. You may find her hands only intuitively touch parts of your own body too. Pull away and reconnect whenever you need, stay in tune with the other person's energy.

The Body Communicates!

Read her body language. If her mouth is shut and tense maybe she’s not ready for tongue yet, your first kiss doesn’t have to be a full make out session. Or maybe you feel her softening her lips and mouth, her mouth opens for you. Now she may be leaning into your body, melting into your kiss, your tongues flickering across each other in unison. Perhaps you feel bold enough to introduce more tongue and her tongue welcomes it. You can experiment with depth and pace here, sucking her bottom lip. Maybe you start to give her kisses down her face towards her neck. There could be a shift in her mood, a new heat in your body...

Savour the Moment

Take your time. Relish in the sensations of the kiss itself, the wetness, the rhythm. Our lips are extremely sensitive parts of our body. Kissing releases dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin, creating a pleasure cocktail in our brains. Savor the sensations that arise in the nerve endings that connect our lips and mouths to the rest of our body. Connect to all your senses. Feel the closeness of her body, the warmth of the embrace, her smell. After a few moments you may feel a new sense of urgency, your hands and mouth may be aching to explore more...

Remember it Doesn't Have to Get Sexual!

Pause. Simply kissing for kissings sake can be extremely gratifying. Recently I’ve rekindled my love for kissing without expectations for sex. I definitely think makeout sessions are making a come back! Pacing all the bases can help you get to know someone at a different pace. It can be fun and sexy to build up from a first kiss to full penetrative sex over several dates. After a passionate first kiss on date one, maybe you want to explore her breasts on date two, maybe she kisses the head of your cock teasingly on date three... there are no rules here! Slower build ups aren’t a guarantee for things working out a certain way! Just an option to consider!

From Kissing to Sex...

When the kiss mutually escalates...

Getting horny while kissing is completely natural! Getting sexual fast during your first kiss when the feelings are mutual can be super hot too! Sex straight after your first kiss does not mean you can’t have a relationship or continue seeing each other. If that’s what feels right then let the heat take control. Kissing in itself can be an extremely erotic act. When I am having a great kiss, I can actually feel it in my pussy, my pussy pulsates. Just the act of kissing can make me very wet. Sometimes after a first kiss all I want is to push his hands down my pants, grind against his hardening cock, unzip his trousers and...

Just make sure you are on the same page!

Whatever you do, make sure whoever you are kissing is on board with where it is going. Reflect on everything that your date or encounter said and did leading into this first kiss. Did they say they wanted to take things slowly? If that’s the case, don’t be pushy, that’s the ultimate turn off! Respect her boundaries. And likewise she should respect yours. Remember you both have the right to change your mind at any time. Even if you had met up explicitly for a hookup, that isn’t a contract either of you must fulfill.

Communication is Sexy

Keep communicating, I can’t stress this enough. A sure way to know if the partner you are with is receptive to the kiss and everything that is happening with it, is by simply asking. ‘Does this feel good?’ ‘Is this ok?’ ‘Do you like it when I kiss your neck?’ ‘Can I touch you here?’. There’s just nothing sexier to me than someone who can communicate. Communication takes practice, it may feel awkward at first, but trust me, it’s going to give you a more fulfilling intimate life.

Final Kissing Tips

Dealing with Rejection

What if the person you want to kiss simply says no, verbally or physically? Do not let your ego and pride run riot. Anger is never an acceptable response in this scenario. Nobody owes you a kiss! Be gracious, respect her decision, and either have a conversation you need to feel closure around the situation. Or accept the feelings are just not mutual and you may have misread the signals. It’s not the end of the world, there is a first kiss waiting for you.

Not Everyone Matches our Kissing Style

I personally love tongue, a lot of it (but not all at once)! I’ve dated someone who didn’t in the past. I realize that we all have different tastes when it comes to kissing and it’s not personal. In intimate relationships, kissing is very important to me, so a first kiss will help me decide if I want to take things further or meet again! However, an amazing first kiss doesn’t equate compatibility, nor does an underwhelming first kiss mean I’ll never see someone again. I take all the other factors about the date into account too!

I hope reading this has given you some insights you can take on board for your next first kiss!