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6 minsAn interview with Karyn
Karyn has been creating beautiful Ersties films for five years but her profound interest in sexuality can be traced back to her Fine Art Master's thesis on masturbation from 2007. We talk about how directing porn helped heal her own sexual trauma along with her fascination with storytelling, psychedelics, and cyborgs.
Could you tell me about your background in art?
So I did my master’s thesis on masturbation; I used an automatic drawing process in a gallery space looking at Butt Man porn magazine and drawing the masturbatory act through my imagination. I’ve always been interested in critical theory around body politics and sex work.
My undergraduate degree focused on printmaking and photography, but I also did a lot of drawing and performance. I went to a really Conceptual art school in Portland, Oregon. It was one of those schools where you walk in at 9 am and someone’s on the floor mopping up flour with their breasts. Weird shit was always happening, which was awesome.
How important has your education been for your career?
I have seven years of art education with a focus on critical theory but even at school my work was very provocative: I did a deep throat performance where people were shoving cake down my throat. I have a background in art history and storytelling, which I could have gotten outside of academia. I don’t think you need school for anything but you have to be an inspired person, perhaps. I am grateful for my education. I don’t know if I’d be in the same place without it because it helped me get my freelance artist’s visa to work in Berlin.
What kind of work were you doing before Ersties?
Oh, I’ve had a lot of random jobs. I moved to San Francisco in 2007 and I had this job restoring classic motorcycle gas tanks. My interview was crazy. I came up to the welding shop, it was in a basement, and the guy’s down there smoking while he’s welding and I’m like, oh my god. And he’s like, I only hire women. They learn faster. I was like. True, True. We do learn faster. I'll take the job.
Have you always been interested in sexuality? When did it become part of your work?
When I was in graduate school in Tuscan I started shooting for Suicide Girls photographing alternative women from clothed to nude. People would show up to shoot without a concept so I would be like ok, I have this dress and a bike from the 1950s so, how about a bike accident?! The storytelling meant the nudity resulted from having to deal with her staged bloody knee, so it was an early experience of directing.
Was that your transition into working in porn?
Okay. So I started in porn as a wardrobe stylist for a mainstream BDSM production company in San Francisco. I worked there for eleven years and again here, directors came to me for ideas (we have this really cool latex nurse outfit, what if we do a femdom scene?) People would say, Karyn, you should be a Director. But I wanted to stay on wardrobe because I felt icky about the way they were shooting.
The company was explicitly violent to women on a daily basis under the premise everything was consensual. They would have interviews after an intense sub-session where the model would enter subspace, which is almost like being high, and they’d be pulled directly out of it and asked, “How was that for you?” It would be incredibly difficult to answer truthfully in that state.
There was just a lot of unethical stuff going on. Boundary-crossing; I was sexual-harassed while working there and when I attempted to sue them (I never completed the process as it would have meant returning to America)I was slut-shamed for what I had been through.
When I moved to Berlin I couldn’t imagine myself working in porn again. But I heard about Ersties from my good friend and Performer, Lina Bembe and was interested in making queer, feminist porn. I hadn’t shot much on film at that point but I sent my photography portfolio. I started working for Ersties in casting and was invited to shoot on set. I’ve been on set for five years now, making mistakes at first, like not getting the white balance right on the camera, but it’s all taught me a lot.
The physical aspect is challenging, especially if a shoot goes long for whatever reason and you’re putting heavy equipment on and taking it off again. I love a long production day though because I barely look at my phone. What’s most challenging is the lack of respect for people working in the adult industry. Lars Von Trier can have an eight min opening of anal penetrative sex but I can’t make an explicit film about human nature. One is considered art and one is considered trash. When I show people my reel, for instance, they’re like oh my god, I didn’t know porn could look like that! This is a wonderful experience I can give to somebody that doesn’t know it exists. Of course, in Berlin, everyone is like wow it’s amazing but the rest of the world looks down on you which can be hard. I would love to be taken seriously.
What advice would you have for any aspiring filmmakers?
I think if somebody wants to become a director they just need to come up with an idea and experiment. Ask your friends to act, if you know somebody really good at makeup, or set design. Ask your community to participate in an idea you have.
Where do you find inspiration?
The whole world inspires me, it’s why I love public transit. I even love to watch the way humans move. And of course, nature is very inspiring. But I think the most inspiring thing is light. I had a professor in college who said, “There’s shit and then there’s shit in good light”. And I think the more you create, the more you’re inspired to create. I still draw every day.
What are your favourite filmmakers?
My favourite film of all time is The Red Shoes because it’s so psychedelic. I also love Jodorowsky. I like it when a story isn’t handed to me on a plate.
What are your personal filmmaking aspirations?
I never want to work in the mainstream but I would love to have pure independence in what I’m making. I am working on my magnum opus, a science fiction film about a hypersexed society where nobody has a real connection but the whole environment is fuckable. I want it to feel like an ayahuasca journey.
What kind of porn do you like to watch?
One of my favourite films I shot for Ersties was a BDSM film between a loving couple which I talk about more in my recent Staff Pick. Otherwise, I watch a lot of Hentai or animated porn or like, cyborgs fucking people or zombies. I enjoy knowing that it’s all fantasy.
When somebody comes to my set and leaves feeling better and having learned something about themselves because you've given them a space to be authentic. To me, that's like taking away all the pain that I suffered in the past. It’s been a really integral part of my healing.
Psychedelics have played a significant role in your own healing journey. Can you talk more about your relationship with your sexuality?
It feels like when I was 33, I had my first experience of seeing my body of my own. And I saw myself as a woman. I was like, Oh my God, how is my sexuality even mine? Have I just been performing my sexuality for 23 years? And I also realised that I had a lot of sexual trauma. Even the type of pornography I consumed was very violent towards women and I realised that I would watch it as if I was watching something happen to myself. After I had come I would have an overwhelming feeling of shame. So I definitely had to do a lot of work on that. So I definitely spent my 30s rewiring myself.
When I started working for Ersties I also realised that I have to be in porn; It’s like having embedded investigators or journalists at war telling the real story. It’s my duty to promote ethical porn and to touch individual lives in a positive way. When somebody comes to my set and leaves feeling better and having learned something about themselves because you've given them a space to be authentic. To me, that's like taking away all the pain that I suffered in the past. It’s been a really integral part of my healing.
Thank You, Karyn, for sharing such a intimate, helpful and vulnerable moments from your journey working in Porn!
If you love Karyn as much as we do, spend a day with her in her very own 'Day in the Life of Karyn' vlog below.
